Ever since the first caveman played his armpits, music has been in our blood. Worst of all, there's no known cure. Musicians spend their waking hours dreaming of making it big. They make a career out of working temporary jobs, so they're prepared to drop everything when they land a gig.

Among musicians there's a caste system. It's not certain if drummers, bassists or accordion players are at the bottom. It depends on whom you ask -- and what instrument they play. Lead guitarists are cock o' the walk; just ask them! In between are symphony musicians, rhythm guitarists, keyboardists, and the rare singer who can sing on key and memorize the lyrics.

Even if you're so hopeless that the only thing you can play is the radio, you're sure to find some fun here. And if you're the wife, girlfriend, or significant other of a musician: you have my sincerest condolences. I hope you'll find that a laugh or two will make all things right again. Enjoy!