Click here for SLYIB.COM home page Home

About
Animal Jokes
Business Jokes
Doctor Jokes
Family Jokes
Farmer Jokes
Government Jokes
Little Johnny Jokes
Musician Jokes
Old People Jokes
One Liners and Puns
Random Jokes
Redneck Jokes
Relationship Jokes
Religious Jokes
School Jokes
Travel Jokes

Slyib's Joke Vault


Category: Travel Jokes

Flight Attendant Funnies

Occasionally, airline flight attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

"As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane..."

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane."

"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children."

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

"Last one off the plane must clean it."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!"


Slyib's Joke Vault -- your home for the world's best jokes!
Copyright © 2017 Blamepro.com