Slyib's Joke Vault
Category: School Jokes
What the Teacher Says
(and what she really means)
- Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test.)
- Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(Your hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.)
- Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.)
- Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term.)
- Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.)
- Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.)
- Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument?)
- John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
(He's a bully.)
- An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
(Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.)
- I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.)
- Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
(He must have written the Whiner's Guide.)
- I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
(We believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.)
- Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
(A mouth that never stops yacking.)