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Category: School Jokes

How to Tell a Freshman from a Senior


Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.


Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.


Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a 12" meatball sandwich and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.


Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher."
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."


Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.


Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.


Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.


Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has own personal workstation.


Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year.
Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year.


Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm.
Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm.


Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night.
Senior: Calls Domino's every other night.


Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of professors.
Senior: Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer.


Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions.
Senior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last night.


Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society.
Senior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry room.


Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class.

Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class.


Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.


Freshman: Goes on grocery-shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus.
Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving into a group house.


Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually.


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