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Slyib's Joke Vault

Category: Relationship Jokes

Twenty Dollars

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband at home in a very drunken state. Over the the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.

As it was unlikely that, at age 59, he'd be able to find another job that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, they were facing financial ruin.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book that showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest and a balance of nearly $1 million.

Then she showed him certificates of deposit issued by the bank that were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors at the bank.

She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, she had saved the money each time and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,

"If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him.

Moral: Men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut after a few drinks.

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