How I Got My Black Eye
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He sees that the guy in the next seat has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes. Mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was a tongue-twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with large breasts was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh.' So she socked me a good one!"
The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosty-Os, honey.'
"But I accidentally said, 'You've ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch!'"