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Slyib's Joke Vault

Category: Redneck Jokes

Why Are You So Smug?

Three convicts, a bank robber, a car thief, and a redneck, were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, the bank robber turned to car thief and said, "So, what did you bring?"

The car thief pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail".

Then he asked the bank robber, "What did you bring?"

The bank robber pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."

The redneck convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"

The redneck pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these!"

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What on earth can you do with those?"

The redneck grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box.. I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."

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