A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town. He sees a redneck and his hound dog sitting sitting out on the front porch of a rusted old shack, and he figures he'll have a little fun.
Cowboy: "Hey, that's a cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Redneck: "Everyone knows that dogs caint talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey boy, how's it going?"
Dog: "Great, thanks for asking." (Redneck stares in stupefied amazement )
Cowboy: "How does your owner treat you?"
Dog: "Really well. He walks me twice a day, feeds me Alpo and table scraps, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Redneck: "Horses caint talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool." (Redneck falls off his chair)
Cowboy: "How's your owner treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
The Redneck stands up and says, "Them sheep ain't nothing but a bunch of damned liars!"