Q. What's the diffference between a dead trombone player lying in the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road?
A. The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.
Q. Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
A. It took two hours to get the drummer out.
Q. How do you get two guitar players to play in perfect tune?
A. Shoot one.
Q. How do you know when the stage is level?
A. The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
Q. What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?