The Government Man
A cocky Department of Agriculture inspector stops at a farm and talks with the old farmer, telling him, "I need to inspect your farm."
The old farmer says "Okay, but don't go in that field over yonder."
The USDA inspector goes red in the face and lectures, "Sir, I have the authority of the U.S. Government behind me. See this ID card? It means I am allowed to go wherever I wish on any agricultural land -- no questions asked or answered. Do you understand me?"
The farmer nodds politely and goes about his chores. Later, he hears loud screams and sees the USDA inspector running for the fence. Close behind is the farmer's prize bull. The bull is madder than a hornets nest, and is gaining on the government man at every step.
"Help me! Help me!" the government man screams.
The old farmer calls out, "Show him your ID card! Show him your ID card!"