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Slyib's Joke Vault

Category: Doctor Jokes

The Lecturer

A famous heart surgeon is in his limo, on the way to give a lecture to a group of out of town physicians. As they near the auditorium he says to his driver, "Jim, I really feel like crap today. I wish there was some way I could get out of giving this lecture and just sit down and rest."

Now Jim had been this doctor's chauffeur for 10 years, and he had a great relationship with his boss. He said, "Hey doc, I could give the lecture for you."

The doctor chuckles and says, "Jim, I like you, and trust you, but in all honesty, you don't really know anything about medicine."

Jim responds, "You're right, doc, but I've watched you give this lecture for the last ten years. I have the thing memorized. I could give it in my sleep! Plus, the doctors coming today are all from out of town. They have no idea what you look like, so they'd have no idea I wasn't you."

The surgeon really feels poorly, so he sits back, thinks for a second, and says, "What the hell, Jim. You're right. Let's give it a try."

So they pull over to the side of the road, change outfits, and the doctor drives his chauffeur the rest of the way to the lecture hall.

When they arrive, a hundred prominent heart surgeons are sitting in the auditorium, waiting for the lecture to start. As the driver walks up to the podium, the surgeon sits in the back with the driver's hat on and thinks, "Oh god, what have I done? Some of these doctors are world famous and could squash my career if this lecture goes badly."

The driver gets to the podium, clears his throat, has a sip of water, surveys the audience, and proceeds to deliver the lecture perfectly. He hits every major point in the lecture, talks with eloquence and grace, and in general, gives the talk even better than the doctor ever did.

The doctor breathes a huge sigh of relief and sits back in his chair and relaxes for the rest of the lecture. But then, as the lecture finishes and the lights go back up, a lump catches in the surgeon's throat. He remembers that he had scheduled this lecture with a question and answer session afterwards!

Among the doctors in the audience, a couple of hands go up. The surgeon looks on in horror as the driver picks the hand of the most prominent heart surgeon in the entire country. He proceeds to ask the most complicated, detailed, mind-bogglingly complex question the doctor had ever heard after any lecture. The room goes silent to see the how the famous heart doctor will respond.

The driver looks down and is silent for a moment. The doctor sitting in the back is petrified with fear; he knows there is absolutely no way the driver could possibly know the answer to this question: his career as a lecturer is over!

And then the driver looks at the surgeon that asked the question, points to the back of the room, and says, "Sir, that question is so ridiculously easy, I'm going to let my driver answer it."

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