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My Favorite Musician Jokes
By Brett McCarron

(Page 1) Here's a collection of musician jokes that should get a smile when you tell 'em on stage or at your next rehearsal.

They're guaranteed to offend just about everyone in the band!

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The six-piece cover band finally got hired for a dream gig: Three months aboard a cruise ship as the house band. The bandmates daydream about spending days lying by the pool, afternoons drinking with beautiful bikinied passengers, and evenings performing in front of beautiful people. The band agrees to practice dilligently during the two weeks before the cruise so they will sound their best.

Days tick by with one problem: at least one band member is missing at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every member of the band has missed two or more rehearsals, except for the ever-faithful drummer.

The day before the band is to set sail, at the end of the last dress rehearsal, the band leader takes a moment to thank the drummer for his faithful attendance.

The drummer humbly responds, "It's the least I could do, since my wife won't let me go on the cruise."


Q. What do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend?

A. Homeless!


Johnny: "Mommy! Mommy! When I grow up I want to be a lead singer in a cover band!"

Mom: "Now Johnny, you can't do both!"


Q. How do you improve the aerodynamics of an accordian player's car?

A. Take the Pizza delivery sign off the roof.


A scientist, along with his trusty guide, arrives in Borneo to research the giant rat of Sumatra. At dusk the first day, he's sitting by the campfire when in the distance, he hears tribal drums. They get louder. The guide remarks, "I don't like the sound of those drums..."

As dusk turns to evening, the drums get louder. The guide declares, "I really don't like the sound of those drums!"

Evening turns to dead of night. The drums get louder and louder, until it is obvious that the drummers must be quite close. The guide says again, "I really don't like the sound of those drums!"

Suddenly the drums stop, and a voice from the darkness cries out, "Hey man, he's not our regular drummer!"


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